Find Passion When You Let Your Heart Win

mood:melanchony
listening to:Xiao Xiao by Joey Yung,Thank You For The Venom by My Chemical Romance,All Good Things (Come To An End) by Nelly Furtado,Camisado by Panic At The Disco,That's What You Get by Paramore

hey all,

sori for the lack of updates.been really bz and lazy.i've started my 2nd sem.funnily i dun even feel like a senior or rather dun even wanna be a senior.things r good and not so good.the fam,me and J and most frenz are good and i dun really wanna tok bout the not so good stuff.my emotions today are one min up and the next min down.sigh.have u ever felt like u just wanna cry but u can't?some days i fear that one day,my strengh would slip and i shall go back to my old ways.ppl who my are my confidantes would noe what i mean.i have only 2 subjects but 2 classes a week for each of the subject this sem.its a short sem,after my finals,i got bout almost 2 months break.i think i would find a job or sumthin or even finally get my drivin licence to occupy my time.i've gotten back into a routine.i dunno y but i feel more comfy when i have a routine eventhough i'm someone who dun like doin the same things every single day.seeing my fren just writting away in his notebook a.k.a journal in the cafeteria yesterday and not giving a damn bout anythin around him reminded me of how i was like when i wrote a long time ago.i need to find the passion for writting again.i used to write so much.i even wrote during classes but not notes,mind you! it was short stories,random rants and ramblings,lyrics,poems and whole lot more.i guess as i got older and more things preoccupied me,i lost the passion somehow.i miss writting,trust me.some days,i flip through my lyrics book and my journals and my old blogs and find that i had loads of passion back then.i wrote without caring.i shared my feelings regardless of what ppl might think of me.as i grew older,i guess i held back those feelings.supressing them in me and bottling them up.i need to find that reckless carefree passionfilled me again.hopefully i will.soon.

take care.