Do You Know I Cry? And Its Not The Good Kind

mood:emo-ish...
songs:The Good Kind-The Wreckers(download it here!!!),Never Too Late-Three Days Grace
(download it here!!!),Sober-Kelly Clarkson,(download it here!!!),Together (Karaoke Version)-Avril Lavigne,Gone Forever-Three Days Grace,Behind These Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson(download it here!!!),Fall To Pieces-Avril Lavigne,How To Save A Life-The Fray (download it here!!!),The Scientist-Avril Lavigne
warning:emo post ahead
hey ppl,

in the past few hours and days,i've received a couple of bad news and made sum1 mad at me.my fren's dad had a sudden heart attack on sunday and passed away.another one of my fren's grandparent passed away a few hours ago.i managed to piss off Secret and he doesn't get mad easily so for him to get mad at me means i've crossed the line in some ways.my emotions are yo-yo now.tomolo (9/Jan/2008) will be 3 months since the break up.everyday,i'm still trying to cope with it.unfortunately,every lil thing seems to remind me of him.the tension between me and him is quite bad till sum1 close to him even can sense it.i just wish that with each passing day,things will get better.its not that no guy is after me but for the moment,i don't wish to have any relationship at all.i do not want to make the same mistakes again.i want to take things slow.the news of the recent passings of my fren's dad and another one of my fren's grandparent has made me realise that life is short if not fragile.for now Sober by Kelly Clarkson and The Good Kind by The Wreckers is my theme songs for me and Secret.i've not been entirely sober for the past 3 months but i did not turn to alcohol to stop the pain neither did i start cutting again.i just started the habit of crying and tokin to myself in the mirror.i'm goin crazy and delusional in a way and i noe it but at least i'm not killing my liver or hurting myself rite?everything has changed in the past 3 months.my experience with Secret and also Secret himself changed me a lot.i wish that he won't give mixed signals to me.oh i forgot,i won't be getting anymore mixed signals coz we don't speak to each other or even see each other.its been so long since i've been this emo and sarcastic.the last time i wanted to cry this badly was when he dumped me(i did cry,pathetically while begging him not to break up and cried myself to sleep as well).too many bad news and everything all hitting me at once.i gtg before i really start crying while typing this.anywayz,condolences to my fren who lost her dad and to her family too.condolences as well to my fren who lost her grandparent and to her family too.will be praying for you two and ur families as well.much love to you all.take care.xoxo.